Dear friends, 

Good day to you all. As the temperature begins to rise in the nation's
capital, the presidential campaign is also heating up. Let us hope the
results are beneficial to all. 

Here is the conclusion of the conversation with my imaginary friend,
from last week. Hope you enjoy reading it. 

Please let me know if you would prefer not to receive these e-mails in
the future.
Yours,
Sankar

Random thoughts (34) --conversation --part 2

We walked the rest of the trail in silence and returned to the grassy
area near the parking lot. A big tent was set up there with rows of
wooden chairs. 

"It looks like they are going to have a wedding here," she said.

"Good location, too - in front of the bay. Let us ask the park ranger."

Turned out she was right. The wedding was supposed to start in about
an hour. We decided to eat our lunch, sitting on the grass, before
people started coming in. It was a great place to picnic, in front of
the calm waters of the bay on this mild, sunny day.

"So what have you been upto lately, Sankar?"

"Been watching a lot of TV, I am afraid. Morbidly facinated by this
election campaign."

"Getting nasty pretty quick, isn't it?"

"Sometimes it gives you a headache. Both sides have decided that
negative advertising works, and so they fill the airwaves with attack
after attack after attack. To do that you need lots of money of course,
and so both sides become indebted to special interests and corporations."

"What bothers me as well is the whole tone of the argument, this so
called culture war. One could try to see this as a sign of the energy
and drive of the American people and a channel for that energy which
might otherwise be spent in war and plunder. But then I am not sure that
war and plunder are not happening, as a result of all this negativity."

"And it is not clear that it is not all about power, either."

"Yes, it looks like the system is headed for a meltdown, doesn't it,"
she said ruefully, "just like the Soviet system was brought down by the
politics of power and ruthless oppression."

"Here it might be unchecked greed, aggressiveness and competitiveness.
If you look at the most popular shows on TV right now, like 'Survivor',
'Apprentice' etc., and even some of the so-called news programs, it does
look like greed, aggressiveness and competitiveness is the new zeitgeist."

"But I am optimistic, Sankar. I think the basic good heartedness of
the average American will prevail. The same energy and drive that
creates greed and aggression is also creating new ways to resolve
conflict, to connect people, to understand life and the world, to
preserve the environment, and to improve living conditions for all."

"I am not so sure I share that optimism, I have to admit. I wish I
could. I am an optimistic person, too." 

"What gives you pause?"

"Maybe I just watch TV too much, but I see that as America moves
farther and farther away from its agricultural and rural roots, money,
power and sex seem to become the overarching concern. People are losing
their ability to focus on long-term happiness as opposed to short-term
gratification. Work, family and faith are being replaced by a hopeless
pursuit of pleasure. Lacking meaning and direction in life, many young
people are wasting their energy on casual sex, drugs and violence. There
is so much anger and hatred among the youth, too. And they direct it at
everything, because they have lost trust in everything."

"Yes, I do think you are watching too much TV," she laughed.

"Conservatives blame the liberals and Hollywood for this erosion of
values, while liberals point out the amoral and exploitative tendencies
of corporations. I think the responsibility has to lie with everyone."

"But this debate isn't new. American society has always had this
tension, I think. It happens in cycles. There are these periods of great
unrest and debate that result in spiritual awakening and reformation. It
is almost a natural process that the country goes through. Just like an
individual might have times of decadence where energy is wasted in
trivial pursuits and then a time of self-examination, awakening, and rededication."

"Let us hope so! There is a time for everything, I guess." We ate in
silence for a few minutes.

"This vegetable rice is very good," she said.

"Ha! You are very kind."

People were slowly trickling in for the wedding. Someone had brought a
big bouquet of flowers.

"I always get teary-eyed at weddings," she said.

"You are fortunate to feel like that. It is something that touches you
deeply. I was at a wedding on New Year's eve, and one could feel the
nervous anticipation in the chapel. Only when the Pastor pronounced them
husband and wife did everyone exhale. Until then, they were just two
friends of mine who were dating, but suddenly it was all very serious."

"Do you think people are getting more casual about marriages in America?"

"Don't get me started. I might go on another TV-inspired rant!," I said.

"You have my permission."

"I think very few people will take marriage itself casually. But
people are more and more reluctant to get into marriage, afraid even.
And I do think that people are taking relationships less seriously.
There are now several kinds of relationships. Recently I saw an article
in the New Yorker called 'How to have a summer fling.' It is as if
relationships have become just another commodity, something you shop
for, and then keep only as long as you it is convenient for you."

"Isn't it better to have freedom to choose, rather than the old days
when you are bound to a person whether you like it or not?" she asked.

"Sure. For instance I saw this movie "Baby it's you" by John Sayles.
Truly terrific movie, about two teenagers who get involved in high
school but slowly realize how incompatible they are. Atleast the girl
does, once she gets into college. It showed me how even in the west,
relationships were taken very seriously and break-ups were so hard to
do. But I think today we are on the other extreme, where people break-up
as easily as they change their clothes. It dehumanises both sides,
basically taking love and 
affection away from relationships."

"I think people have become really afraid of rejection. Especially the
youngsters who grew up in homes wrecked by divorce, which became more
common in the sixties and seventies."

"I saw "Something's got to give" with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton
on the flight to India. There is this scene where Diane's daughter,
played by Amanda Peet, scolds her for putting so much emotion into her
relationship with Jack. Diane in turn tells her that it is all part of
life - and love -the highs and the lows, the agony and the ecstasy. One
ought to accept all of it, and be willing to put one's heart and soul
into it."

"I should see it, then. By the way, you didn't tell me what you
thought of the scene in India after this trip." 

"Well, India has nowhere to go but up. So in that sense, if I say
things are getting better, it doesn't really mean much. Certainly the
middle class is doing much better, the infrastructure is getting better,
there are more high-rises and upscale condos in Chennai. But there is
still a tremendous amount of poverty, illiteracy, and oppression of
everyone who is weaker."

"I always wonder, what makes it possible for some people to live such
opulent lives, oblivious to the wretched life of people around them?,"
she said.

"We all do that, to some extent. It is only a question of degree. In
India the disparity is even more stark. There are these slums and people
living in the middle of garbage and sewage while nearby the elite live
in luxurious mansions. I was biking through a well-to-do neighbourhood
near Bethesda the other day, with leafy, quiet streets and elegant
houses. I must say I enjoy biking on such streets. But it made me
realise how easy it is for rich people to get lost in their own everyday
environment and not be aware of the suffering of the poor. For them,
this is their life. They work hard to maintian their quality of life,
and a lot of them don't even consider themselves rich, compared to the
megamillionaires etc., I myself lived without air-conditioning,
refrigerator, TV, car, and comfortable beds when I was young. Now most
of those things have become basic to my life."

"You are right. We all get so localized in our lives. It becomes
difficult to appreciate the terrible tragedies that people are living
through, in every part of the world. Right now, there are so many wars
going on, starting with the big one in Iraq. They don't even show the
extent of the pain inflicted on people by these wars. Everything is
sanitized on TV."

"Yes, it is easy to forget that the world is a very brutal place for a
lot of people. Every man has this dark side, which is restrained only by
the circumstances. When there is no order, and responsible people are
not strong and vigilant, then those men with no concern for others do
whatever they can get away with. Society descends into fascism and
mobocracy," I said.

"Looking at it that way don't you think it is amazing that, given so
much poverty and suffering, India has not seen more violence and chaos?"

"Not at all. I think it is only because the poor people in India are
very passive and accepting. Perhaps it has something to do with their
spirituality, perhaps it is just their good nature. Also the lowest
sections of Indian society, like the untouchables and the tribal people,
have been oppressed for so long they had stopped thinking of how things
could be improved. Only now they are waking up, and I think that is the
best thing about India today."

"I think that even though it is not so bad in the US, there is a lot
of oppression going on here also. The middle class is getting poorer and
poorer, and the poor are getting totally marginalized. Only difference
is that the rich and powerful in this country have become experts at
manipulating people into believing what they want them to believe. A lot
of people in this country have no clue as to what is really going on
anymore," she said.

I was worried tht perhaps I was burdening her with all my angst.
"Sorry that this conversation is so serious and melancholy," I said.

"No, that is fine. Can't ignore these things, though there is no use
dwelling on them either."

"Absolutely."

"It is all part of life, Sankar. As much as we enjoy this beautiful
day by the bay, we should also be open to the ugliness that is out there."

"Yeah, you are right. There is plenty of ugliness out there. Like the
Lincoln beard. I am yet to see a man that it looks good on."

"Except for Lincoln himself, of course!."

"Sure. It did look good on him. Anything would have looked good on
him. Some people have a great personality that shines through their
face, and it doesn't matter how they look."

"Their look is made good by their personality, rather than vice versa."

"Like Michael Jordan and the bald look. Thank God for that!" 

"I like your new hairstyle," she said, patting my stubbly pate playfully.

"I am grateful for such small mercies of life. I was worried how you
would react, after you came back from Seattle."

She left that comment in the air, and I also left it there. There was
no sign of the wedding getting started yet. We left the park soon afterwards.




















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