Long Walks On Leafy Streets

11/10/2015 Rachel Carson Refuge, Wells, ME
Today is Diwali and those of you who don’ t know it is like Christmas for Hindus. Nicole makes fun of me for not knowing enough about our traditions. In this case I have to agree. I am still not sure about Diwali–also spelt as Deepavali, Sanskrit for array of lights— which demon’s slaying we are meant to celebrate. Different parts of India celebrate it for different reasons. I have a general idea that it is meant to celebrate the triumph of good over evil or light over darkness and that is how I think of it. So I am happy that we had our solar panels inspected today. Once Pepco installs the net meter we will be able to turn it on and derive our power from the sun. In that way, I feel like we are really celebrating the victory of light over darkness. Every little step towards reducing the threat of climate change is a victory for the Mother Earth. Incidentally one of the stories behind Diwali is that of the slaying of Narakasura, the demon son of the Earth Goddess and her evil abductor. Perhaps that story is an allegory for the substances coming out of the earth that turn into poisons.
With the victory of liberals in Canada, the setbacks to the forces of division and intolerance in India after the Bihar elections, and the fast increasing share of wind and solar power in the world’s energy markets I feel like there have been some victories for the cause of justice and the protection of the earth and its people. On the other hand there are still so many places in the world that are ravaged by wars, poverty, disease and exploitation. There is also a rise in religious and social balkanization, with the middle class in many countries turning against foreigners and minorities, fearing for their safety and prosperity. But if we look at the absolute numbers it is clear, as has been demonstrated by many authors, that the world is in fact becoming less violent, people are living healthier lives and poverty is decreasing. Nevertheless we need to always stay vigilant against the forces of darkness and ultimately it is up to each person to find peace and love within their heart and overcome fear and hatred.

In that respect the past few weeks I have been able to find more peace and overcome ego and frustration within myself. I have always had tremendous ambition. Even my quest for spiritual growth could be ultimately due to a need to reach some higher level of consciousness. Somehow one has to extricate the search for truth from the quest for success. As the Buddha and many other teachers have said, when you let go of one layer of ego you open up another. A great way to overcome ego is through mindfulness. When you focus completely on what you are doing at this moment then you become free from ego for that period of time. Running also helps in overcoming one’s ego in a way because you are trying to focus on the breathing and your next step, not how far you have come or how much further you have to go. When you don’t worry about the past or future or how things are affecting you, instead focus on the beauty and joy in whatever you are doing, then your mind becomes free of ego. The body is filled with great energy, more than you even knew you had. Thich Nhat Hanh calls it the energy of mindfulness. It is as if one have been given a charge of electricity. There is a new joy in living that is different from the fleeting happiness coming from material pleasures. It is a joy that comes of true love and seeing the world the way it is, and seeing the beauty even in the middle of all the suffering and ugliness.

I am learning to stop worrying about what people think of me or what I have or have not accomplished in my life. It is as if my ego is slowly crumbling and falling away, and a new and deeper part of me is opening up. It is a painful process in a way because your ego is a big part of your identity and it is a very strong force. When you let that layer of you fall away it almost feels like you are dying but then you realize you are also gaining new life. Perhaps that is what Christians call as “being born again.” The process has been speeded up for me in the past few days. During this time I have been taking care of Prashant by myself, with help from my parents, because Nicole is away at a conference. At first it seemed daunting but as I simply stayed focused on the moment I found it becoming less difficult to handle. The lack of sleep and extra work stretched me to the fullest and I had to dig deep to find strength.

I am also finding a lot of happiness in spending time with my son. I take him for walks regularly strapped in a carrier that I put on like a backpack. I also ran with him in a stroller from my home all the way to Wheaton last saturday. It was a cold and drizzly day but as I ran the body warmed up. He also enjoyed it very much. I ran / walked a total of 8 miles, mostly on the Sligo Creek trail. For all that time, my thoughts were almost exclusively focused on how to keep him safe and happy.

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